It was a hot place.
A never ending flat expanse of golden earth made up of millions of grains of sand.
Life is full of contrast. It takes paying attention to notice the swing of the pendulum. The ceaseless march of time -as we perceive it-.
For me it was out of the freezer and into the fire as I crossed into the lowlands of what would become -in hindsight- one of the lowest points of my life.
Rising heat, sinking feelings
I can recall feeling deeply painfully alone during those initial post college years.
My early young adult years were marked by the unraveling of connections.
This wasn’t all bad. Many of those connections didn’t suit me or didn’t grow with me. So I had to leave them behind.
But following that period of confusion led to a new trial. The challenge of getting along without those connections. Of finding out who I was outside my protective social shell was a daunting one. I didn’t initially accept it with grace.
Instead, I cursed God for my fate. I kicked the sand in frustration. I yelled into the empty burning air. I stood, sat, waited and cried as the sun faded and the cold of night found me -again-.
With only the dying fire of resentment to warm me on starry nights, I felt my journey was at its end.
Will I ever see the sun again?